B.A.B.S

Oh, the sun will come out tomorrow, tomorrow...

2008-11-10T11:36:00.001-08:00

Well, Hog fans, USCe didn't have to beat us, we just handed the game to them. All they had to do was show up and get a lil scrappy (way to go Culliver, now you miss the first half of the Florida game dumbass). Yup, we took care of the beating ourselves. Casey, 2 more games. Just 2 more. Please, for the love of God, figure out how to play QB between then and now. We have a bye week. Use it. Try to master the skill of throwing the ball OVER the defensive player, not TO the defensive player. This is a reliable skill that some of the elite Pop Warner QBs learn early in their career. I'm hoping we go with the lil' Dick. If so, and oh I think the Hogs could use a lil' Dick, who knows what will happen. What will we do when we have no Dick left? I think we will see soon because barring a miracle N. Dick will probably transfer after this season. Just a hunch with Ryan "I can throw the ball over the jumbotron from the south end zone" Mallett coming in next season. That being said, Casey you gave a lot of heart over the past 4 years. You played QB under Houston Nutt, no one expected you to be good. Speaking of Nutt, I finally realized there is something I miss about him...Hannah Nutt. Unfortunately, there is sort of a Houston Nutt resemblance that just ruins the whole thing:

How cute, she went as a player on a team destined to go into the shitter after 4 years of her daddy's recruiting! That's sweet. I wonder if there is a lesbian physical therapist in Little Rock trying to order one of these Ole Miss costumes as I type this post. Of course she would wear a cup. Funny that Hailey went as a referee seeing that she must have been wearing the same thing to the Arkansas game. It does explain the London Crawford offensive pass interference call by a "ref" 20 yards down field!

Change...

2008-11-04T20:03:00.000-08:00

America, your 44th President.

Procrastination

2008-11-01T18:09:00.000-07:00

Well, obviously I've dropped the ball. Maybe I should play football for Georgia. Well they don't really drop it as much as let it slip through their hands in the endzone. Oh Knowshon, you know not what you do. Let me tell you what you've done...you've lost to Florida by a larger margin than we did. I say this and realize that we are pretty down this year (see Bama, Texass and Florida games). And at least ours was a fourth quarter ass whoopin'. Ya'll pretty much got your asses handed to you for an entire game. I mean WTF, UGA! I, like so many other suckers, had you guys easily winning the SEC East. Sigh. College football is a bitch.

Speaking of bitches, Ole Miss came to town last Saturday. Jevan Snead...Eh, not impressed. Michael Oher...Badass, you sir are going to make lots of money in the NFL. Too bad he's leaving this year. I'm sure Houston Nutt will have a "diamond in the rough" that is "special" and "a fighter" lined up to fill Oher's spot. Okay, so we all know Houston Nutt can't recruit, I'm sure even Ole Miss fans know this. It's really not a big deal, recruiting is overrated. Who needs SEC level talent to coach in the SEC? Not Houston Nutt. He can take any squad in the nation and go 6-6. And when I say any squad, he could take Texas or Bama and go 6-6. Or Duke and UTEP. He is the king of .500. I think he will be okay at Ole Miss with a .500 average every season. I mean they're Ole Miss, that's pretty good (Note to Ole Miss: Schedule more cupcakes). Maybe you'll get lucky and some kid like Darren McFadden, who would've been a Razorback if I was coaching the Razorbacks, will come be the Ole Miss Savior for a season or two. Then you'll still fail to make a BCS bowl. But let me check my ego here, we did get beat on Saturday. Of course, some people swore on their first born that HDN would come into Fayetteville like a woman scorned, reigning down Hell Fire and Brimstone. CoughGreggDoyleCough. Ole Miss won by 2 points. And it was a questionable victory at that, with a pussified (see: sorority flag football minus the hot chicks) offensive pass interference call that nullified the pass from Casey Dick to London Crawford. The Pass would've put the Hogs at the Ole Miss 21. Well within field goal range at the very least. But one call doesn't decide the game (yeah right) and the Hog's had plenty of chances to score prior to their last drive and failed. You can't blame that on yet another pathetic SEC officiating outing. I can honestly say I have never seen such poor officiating in a conference during a single season.

So if I didn't see great officiating Saturday, what did I see? I saw a team full of potential. I saw a team that could beat #18 Tulsa today. And that they did. Say what you will , "Tulsa is a C-USA team", "Tulsa was overrated" , "I hate Bobby Petrino so I'll discount this win". Say whatever. Tulsa has a pretty damn good team. Were they top 25? Well they were 8-0, it would be hard to keep them out of the top 25, even if they do play a Pop Warner schedule. They're easily the best team we've beat. Way better than Auburn. At least offensively. Of course, who isn't? But back on track, I can't help but get a little giddy when I think of what this Razorback squad will be doing in two years. ESPN Reporter Chris Low agrees...

"Here's the other thing: The Hogs are playing 16 true freshmen.
Another solid recruiting class (and the Hogs are already adding Michigan transfer Ryan Mallett at quarterback), and Arkansas is going to be a team to reckon with next season in the Western Division."

Hell, Low goes as far as saying we will be a team to reckon with next season. He's more optimistic than I am. Alright I'll bite, we cause a ruckus in the SEC West next season, play for the SEC championship the next. That's right. I said it. It is forever sealed on the internet. So, what will I do if we don't deliver? Well, naturally I'll delete this post. Duh. I'm proud of this win. I'm glad our Srs got to walk out of RRS tonight with their heads held high, the Victors for their last home outing.

A shout out to those guys that have played their hearts out for us the past four or five years! Especially Casey Dick, Jeremy Davis and Antwain Robinson.

Good Vs. Evil

2008-10-23T11:10:00.000-07:00

A battle of unsurmountable proportions looms on the horizon for my Razorbacks this weekend. A battle of Good Vs Evil, Arkansas Vs Ole Miss. The problem is, which program is the good and which is the bad? Well that, comrade, is in the eye of the beholder. If you ask Gregg Doyle, a "sports writer" for CBS sports, it's the Arkansas fan base that should be wearing black and carrying a trident (by the way Gregg we will be wearing black, but in more of a Johnny Cash sort of way). If you ask most Hog fans and a few former 5 and 4 star recruits, Ole Miss should be promising a golden fiddle to anyone that can stop them (yes, a "The Devil Went Down To Georgia" reference). So who's right and who's wrong, and if so will good triumph over evil?

According to Doyle, Nutt should run up the score on Arkansas. Nutt is the good guy and he should do all he can to humiliate the fan base that FOI'd his cell phone records, dug up tidbits that indicated Nutt was having an affair with a half way decent looking northwest Arkansas news anchor, and had ordered a "code red" on a certain 5 star recruit that now rides the pine at USC. Oh and found an email from Nutt's wife stating she wishes she had been present when that certain QB's mother was beat with a 4x4 by tenants of her rental property. In the end, the evidence against Nutt was pretty damning. But I believe it's the fervor with which Hog fan's pursued him and the fact that Nutt had come off a 10-4 season that had most people outside of the Razorback nation baffled. Most college sports fans and the media (outside a few who would later face the consequences of vocalizing their opinions) just didn't understand why Razorback fans could be so upset with the SEC COY. But then again, most college football fans outside of Arkansas alumni and people inside the state don't keep up with the Hogs.

Most don't know that the program dominates the state and for every ten people in the state, 9.8 people have been born and raised cheering on the Hogs. The .02 is to account for all the Yankees WalMart has imported from the North. People other than Hog fans don't realize if you list Div 1 schools in order of most all-time college football rankings (the number of times the team has been ranked in the top 25 nationally) Arkansas is #19. That's not too piss poor for a college that has mostly depended on instate talent with the few detractors from Texas every now and then. Doing a little research one will find that in most rankings of the top NCAA football programs of all time Arkansas typically comes in anywhere from 14-20. Not too scrappy, Hogs.

Obviously Gregg Doyle isn't aware of this, because he seems to think the Hog fans are a bit "big for our britches". Okay Doyle, I'll just assume you didn't have the time to do any research what so ever prior to your article. You were probably busy picking out those cool circa 2000 black rimmed glasses that make you look like you MUST know what you're writing about. Just some advice, man to man, the goatee cancels out the glasses, moving on. I'm sure Doyle thinks he has to be right because apparently Dennis Dodd and Pat Forde feel the same (even though I think Forde's animosity towards Arkansas has much more to do with his disdain for Petrino and not with Arkansas' program). So if the "big boys" of college "sports writing" say so, it's got to be true, right?

Unfortunately for Hog fans, the national media has followed poor ol' Houston's tragic story and feel that we ran off the best thing to happen to us since sliced bread. I mean really, who beyond Nutt did we have coaching us that was all that great? Frank Broyles, Lou Holtz, Ken Hatfield? Yeah those guy's sucked. None of them brought us a National Championship or outright SWC Championship. We never won any real bowl games under those guys, right? Thank you for righting our ship, Mr. National Media! We really did have our expectations set too high! The gall of us to expect a BCS bowl with a team that had seven players taken in the NFL draft, three that went in the first rounds, or was it four? Oh, who's counting? No coach in the country could have went to a BCS bowl with Peyton Hillis, Felix Jones and Darren McFadden in the backfield. Surely not if they were forced to deal with an offensive line with guys like Tony Ugoh and Jonathan Luigs blowing protection. Even worse, Jamal Anderson and Chris Houston suckin' it up on defense. Or if you had a pretty damn good Gatorade Player of the Year true freshman calling your signals muddling it all up. How well does sarcasm come across in print?

Nope, we were really setting our sights too high. We ran off a great coach. It doesn't matter that he received more than 3.3 million dollars to remove his "golden handcuffs" or that he loved the Hogs so much that he couldn't bare being further than Oxford, MS. Disregard the fact that he loved "the helmet" so much that he wrote an open letter to the Razorback Nation and pledged his allegiance over and over. These things do not matter. He was the best we could get, better than we deserved. I for one am glad ESPN and CBS are around to keep us grounded.

So, Hog fans, I think to most of the nation, we are the bad guy this weekend. We are the ones that should reminded of our inferiority, reminded that we ran off the best cheerleader to ever wear Razorback red, reminded that we hoped for a little too much when we expected championship rings (not of the Western Division sort) and national respect. We are the Bad, Houston is the Good. Problem with this is, I don't really give a damn what the rest of the country thinks. I don't care what ESPN will bill this game. I care about winning. I care about the players on the field that have played pretty good football as of late. For 3 quarters a game at least. I care about marching down the field, beating Houston with his own running game, with his own recruits, all while wearing the helmet he professed to "love". I care about throwing a couple of vertical passes, just to prove that it can be done on the field at RRS. I want the win. If we falter, if we fail to beat Houston in his first return to RRS, it will royally suck. I'll be pissed for a good 2-3 days. And then I will focus on next weeks game. I will also circle Ole Miss on the 2009 schedule. If Houston ever plans on beating Arkansas, he better do it this year. I'm afraid it will be his last shot. As Orgeron's recruits leave and Nutt's appear maybe the nation will see what we've seen for the past ten year-a mediocre coach with a knack for winning a big game here and there and losing the ones he should win. Good Vs Evil. Good may lose the battle, but we will damn sure win the war. GHG!

Thoughts and Prayers

2008-10-21T14:20:00.000-07:00

By now, most the nation knows about Anne Pressly, the KATV reporter who suffered from a horrendous attack late Sunday night. It is tragic and horrific act that has the close knit Heights area reeling and wondering if the suspect may be among them. Anne resides on Club Rd. in an area known for it's diverse and historic homes and considered the "premiere neighborhood" in the Little Rock area. For all you WLR folks out there claiming West beats Midtown, remember your neighborhood has no character what so ever. I'm pretty sure it's obvious that I grew up in the Heights area. For all of those people out there that like to bash on Little Rock, especially the ones in NW Arkansas that only associate it with the War Memorial Debate, the Heights embodies what all of us native to Little Rock love about the city. The fact that the neighborhoods in the heart of LR are like small towns, everyone knows their neighbors, everyone knows their neighbor's pets, everyone watches out for the other. Or that's how it used to be.

My parents moved from the Heights-Hillcrest area about 3 years ago due to the constant burglaries and auto B&E's that plagued the area. They now live east of LR in the Scott area (in the sticks) and love the privacy and being able to get up in the morning without finding their car broken into. However, the event that occurred on Sunday night is something that shakes you to the bone no matter where you grew up.

A beautiful, smart, sweet girl in the prime of her life being attacked in the one place she should feel safe. LRPD has not yet indicated whether they believe the attacker was a friend of Anne's (though the lack of forced entry would leave one to think it is) or a random act of senseless violence (as if any violence makes sense). I for one hope it is the first scenario, because though it is horrible to think that someone that knew her could do this to her, it's a lot easier to accept. The fact that this could be the act of a madman who's lust for maximum damage has yet to be quenched is extremely frightening to someone that has a couple of aunts and a sister still living in the area.

I feel better knowing that LRPD has committed around the clock extra patrol of the area, assigning special units to keep an eye on the neighborhood and crime scene into the late hours of the night. I just can't shake the feeling that this guy probably looks just like you or me, a clean cut, young man that most would sit next to in church. Knowing the neighborhood I feel that anyone else would have stuck out like a sore thumb and someone would have taken notice. People are especially intrusive in the Heights and will definitely be on high alert for a while. And that's okay, just remember folks, don't bitch and moan when you get stopped in your own neighborhood by the LRPD. They are only doing their jobs and we pay them very little to do that, but that's for another post. They are just keeping you safe. But they can only do so much, be smart and remember to stay aware, set your alarms, watch out for your neighbor. Call your friends and family that live in the area to make sure they're in the house safe and sound before bed time.

My brother in law took my sister to shoot at Don's today. Sis, I hear you're a hell of a shot. She will sleep with my Glock 40 tonight (the Glock is a smooth shooting handgun with little recoil, great for ladies) but I'd rather she sleep with the knowledge that this monster has been caught. I'll keep my faith in the diligence of the LRPD and hope that this occurs sooner than later. My prayers are with Anne and her family. God be with you.

As of 5pm reports are indicating that Anne Pressly is expected to make a full recovery. Anne was not expected to make it through yesterday. Hopefully the capture of her attacker is not far behind.

Sam Adams or Blue Moon

2008-10-16T15:13:00.000-07:00

So, as I prepare for a night of BBQ slingin' at the fair (you owe me Bruce) I had but one question...Sam Adam's Octoberfest or Blue Moon's Harvest Moon Pumpkin Ale? What's a beer lover to do? Sadly enough, I went to both websites in an attempt to answer this question. Actually, both breweries have badass sites, but Blue Moon Brewing Company's interactive brew your own beer tool was just too fun. So, here's to you BMBC, your ingenious marketing ploy has suckered this consumer into a purchase. Not that I'm too upset about that. A nice crisp night, great BBQ, and a cold, cold beer await! Oh, and Romo has decided he won't be a wimp following an inspirational phone call from veteran Brett Favre. That's good news, too. Thanks Brett! Not only are you an inspiration to all 40+ men out there that like to play touch football in the backyard while wearing a pair of Wranglers, you also inspire young QBs. This Why You're Hot.

Oh, Brett you're so...sigh...well, so Brett Favre. Watch out, Romo may be on pace to surpass your 258 consecutive starts in regular season play. He's at 30. I know you're feeling the heat man.

My parents weren't divorced or anything, we just moved when I was ten...

2008-10-14T16:57:00.001-07:00

Well, this shit is funny. Unless you're Nickleback, then you probably just feel silly. Thank you Snarkastic.com.

Bama's Got Jokes

2008-10-14T15:41:00.001-07:00

Nick Saban is pretty clever with the press. So are his players. When asked about facing Ole Miss and Houston Nutt this weekend Bama safety Rashad Johnson had this to say, "They're going to try to establish the running game and even when it's not working, they're going to try and establish the running game." At times during the Houston Nutt regime the Hogs boasted a celebrated running game. Sadly enough at the same time they could never establish a vertical passing game. Obviously this did not go unnoticed by Johnson, who has played against a Nutt offense for the past three years. This offense never changed even though it saw the coming and going of 3 different Offensive Coordinators. Hmmm. To help Bama prepare for Ole Miss I have included the Houston Nutt Offensive Play Book:

Good luck, Bama. Moving on, I ranted that Felix Jones needed more playing time. What a wasted rant, since Felix is out 2-4 weeks due to a hamstring injury. So, my bad. Read more, blog less is the lesson here. The Cowboys did pick up receiver Roy Williams, which will bolster the passing game and piss off TO. I don't think anyone is shocked that Pacman (pardon me, Adam) is out indefinitely. When Commissioner Goodell has NFL security investigating whether or not you were drinking when you got in a fight with your own body guard, you're screwed. I'm sure no one saw this coming.

Oldie But Goodie...

2008-10-13T20:28:00.001-07:00

I understand that in the world of the "internets", as the modern, high speed, Frank Broyles once referred to the great world wide web, it's old news but it's still funny...

"So Cullen, since I'm out of a job, I was wondering if I could borrow bus fare? I need to throw you under it."

So, after throwing Cullen Harper under the proverbial bus, Tommy Bowden gets a pink slip. Cullen Harper says Bowden "got what he deserves." Oh snap. Did we really try to hire this guy away? Did he really use Arkansas to get an extension and huge pay raise? Are you cereal? C'mon, you're kidding me? No, it happened. TGFBP. Oh Clemson. I feel your pain. We have walked in your shoes. Remember Jack Crowe? Okay, neither do most people. Chin up. It will get better. I have a few viable candidates Clemson fans. Not that you will listen. That's for a later day, however. I just couldn't go to bed before pouring salt in the wounds of such a schmuck. Clemson is better than you Tommy Bowden.

Monday Night QB

2008-10-13T19:02:00.001-07:00

Well guys, what a weekend. My Hogs and Lil' DynaMike, as I now like to call that fast ass scat back, Michael Smith, beat Aubbie. I'll admit I think Tubby's boys were slightly overrated, just because they lack any sort of consistency on offense. I think this is sort of a pattern for the Tigers and don't know why everyone is in awe of their lack of offense. Auburn is defense. With that being said, we ran all over that defense in the form of a 5'7, 170 lb RB that is 9th in the nation in rushing ypg.

Sunday rolls around and so do the Cardinals right over my 'Boys. Attention Wade Phillips: Felix Jones is BA (BADASS WADE, BADASS), yet you seem to have the inability to get the ball to him enough in a game. Granted, MB is a beast. You use this man. You shove the ball down the opponent's throats over and over then, like a ninja, you use stealth, agility and slight of hand and let the lightning loose, man! I will not pretend to possess the football prowess to coach NFL football but I will break it down in simple terms:

Imagine for a second you coach Pop Warner Football. You've got a huge kid, a grinder, that can go for four to five yards a run with 8 kids on his back. You've also got this other kid, great field vision, fast as hell, can make people miss, and can tear off 15 yards while sippin' gatorade. One would think you would shove the ball down your opponents throats (even if they are seven, never played football before and will watch The Lion King on the portable DVD player on the way home after the game) with your grinder. You wear these kids down. You make them miserable. Then you bring the lightnin', Mister. It's off to the races. Wade, are you following me? Are you picking up what I'm putting down, Sir?

So if said team is the Cardinals, you attempt to shove it down their throats, HOWEVER; if the Cards are riding Barber like a wet saddle you've got to go with FELIX JONES. And if your passing game isn't doing the job because your QB is getting sacked 3 times and hit with the pimp hand every single down, YOU USE SOMEONE FAST. I don't care if TO and his bodyguard got in a scuffle in the bathroom of some bar because TO wouldn't sit in time out. I don't care if he's not getting 73 balls thrown his way during a game (I have done scientific research and found that it requires 73 passes to TO per game to avoid an ensuing hissy fit in the locker room). Your O-line isn't giving Mr. Saturday Night time to pass, Sir. YOU REVAMP THE GAME PLAN. Wade, you're obviously a talented man. You piss X's and O's. You shit Astroturf. You read the Sunday paper on a clipboard. You are the yin to Jerry's yang. No sexual innuendo intended. But Coach, if it ain't working, fix it. Sorry guys, I know everyone has been singing this same song, but damnit, I needed a public forum.

Florida Vs LSU. Folks, I must admit I'm pretty astonished. I haven't really followed LSU much this year but I have followed the hype. I guess I blindly bought into it. I'm not saying they suck. Currently with my Hog's playing 16 TRUE freshmen a game, I'm in no position to do so. But I am saying they got the bayou beat out of them. WTF is up LSU? Tebow cried. He lost to Ole Piss and he cried. Then he made a fiery declaration of determination and a promise to the Gator Nation. I did not expect the Razorbacks to make him go back on his word (though they did for 3 quarters). No, I was depending on my Cajun neighbors to the south to lay waste to Tebow's promise. And you failed me. So for that, LSU, you are the proud owners of the BABS Trophy of Disappointment. I have yet to find an image symbolic of the Trophy of Disappointment;therefore, LSU, you get this until I find something more finite:

Yes, that is a Hamster Toilet. I find it fitting. No gay Tebow references necessary. And to think, I loved you like a brother, LSU.